The Age of Disconnect

We live in the age of disconnect. Cell phones, internet, social networking, technologies designed for the purpose of bringing people together are subtly tearing us apart. (Many readers, who like myself, spend far too much time playing with their smart phone and fiddling on Facebook, are already thinking of a rebuttal to this post).

This epiphany came to me after a four hour long experience with T-mobile’s customer service. In this time I had to re-explain my situation three times as I was juggled between employees, I was called a liar—or told that my wife is a liar rather—and ended the conversation with nothing resolved and my Saturday afternoon wasted. At some point in the conversation I asked the person his name which he said he couldn’t give (yet he had all my information right there in front of him) and I filed a complaint (the only form of accountability I could think of). Once the conversation ended I vented to my wife for an hour and am just starting to cool down as I sit to write this post. Would I have been treated this way if I were talking to this person face-to-face? I’m sure we’ve all had an experience similar to the one I just described.

Studies have shown that a person’s personality changes when they are wearing a mask. My parents would never let me wear masked Halloween costumes and I had to settle for the Batman costume that looked more like a bonnet. Masks are no longer limited to costumes and the new villains are people like telemarketers and cyber bullies.

I watched a really good movie recently called Up in the Air. You may have seen it, George Clooney, 2009 best picture nomination? The main character is one of those old timers who is disconnected the old fashioned way: leaving home on business trips and accumulating frequent flyer miles. His job is to fly all around the country to lay people off. His company has decided to meld into the digital age. A young woman, fresh out of college, spear heads a new development in which the employees no longer have to travel, but instead lay people off through online video chat. Could you imagine being fired by some stranger on the internet?! Now that’s disconnect. I won’t spoil the rest of the movie for anyone (it’s lovely), but thought this transition between the old way of being disconnected and our new way was profound.

Where is our brave new world headed (yeah I just used the title of this blog to cheese-ify this post)? I notice that my online interactions can very easily take a wrong turn as strangers argue about touchy subjects like politics, religion, and basketball (I guess it’s redundant to mention basketball having already mentioned religion). Will the World of Warcraft turn out to be a foreshadow of our future? Or are movies like Avatar or Surrogates better indicators?

Let’s do ourselves a favor and turn these trends around. We can rebuild our social capital by getting to know our neighbors, limiting our time on social networking sites, or giving someone a hug. I tend to believe that small changes, while inconvenient, can go a long way.

 

After note: Melanie called customer service and got the whole mess resolved within half an hour. Does that discredit this whole idea? Haha, at least I feel better.

Leia Mais…

Devan’s Stand Up

So, my little brother, Devan, does stand up comedy. He performs with the BYU group Humor U. Some of my loyal readers (yeah I don’t have any of those, but I like to pretend I do) may remember that I posted one of his first shows on my blog a couple years ago. Now he is much better! So for your enjoyment here are a couple of his shows. Hope you like them as much as I do. And ladies, he’s single and I need a new sister-in-law ;).

Leia Mais…

GOMERs and GOMEREs

I just finished reading The House of God by Samuel Shem, MD. The House of God is a medical satire about a group of interns’ experience during their first year of residency. The book follows Dr. Roy Basch, a ‘red-hot’ medical doctor fresh out the the ‘Best Medical School’ and starting his residency at The House of God, a prestigious hospital in Boston affiliated with the Best Medical School (Harvard, I assume). The book was referred to me by a friend in medical school who said it’s the most popular medical novel written to date. Expecting to get some fresh insight into what life is like as an intern, I approached this book with anticipation and excitement. In fact, Mel would tell you I looked at every used-book store in Nepal hoping to find this book. My enthusiasm quickly turned to confusion and even distress as the author paints a very cynical picture of medical education. Roy and his fellow interns are tortured with being on call every third night (and at times every second night), working 100+ hour weeks, being tortured by GOMERs and LOL in NADs, and slowly realizing the idealized physician’s life they all desire is turning out to look more like a nightmare than a dream. As these young doctors become disillusioned they lose their humanness, break down (one jumping to his death from a hospital window), and at one time or another become despicable.

I want to focus on one of the terms this book introduces, the GOMER. This derogatory term is defined by The Fat Man to mean “Get Out of My Emergency Room, a human being who has lost—often through age—what goes into being a human being.” It describes elderly people suffering from diseases such as dementia, whom the interns must care for in unflattering ways such as disimpacting hard stools. They can’t die, and are constantly abused by the medical staff. For example, one the the rules in The House Of God is GOMERS GO TO GROUND, meaning they fall out of bed. The interns use this rule in order to TURF their GOMERs to ORTHO or NEURO by setting the hospital beds up at dangerous heights. The treatment of these people portrayed by this satire is disturbing.

During my undergraduate education, I worked part-time as a certified nursing aide at two different nursing homes. One man for whom I provided care (I will call him James) was a WWII veteran, learned Chinese, and taught Chinese literature at Brigham Young University. In his old age dementia had left him miserable. He relied on CNAs for everything, and many CNAs resented him. James’ dementia made him violent, especially at night and he would punch, kick, spit, and do anything he could to prevent the aides from helping him. I remember one aide who even resorted to hitting James back. She lost her job. Whenever James’ call light went off, the aides would do their best to ignore him, or try and persuade another aide to go see what he wanted. Shem would call James a GOMER.

I became a ‘go-to guy’ when it came to James’ care. James liked me. I think he started to like me the first summer I grew a beard. A gruff man himself, James would say “you and I need a shave” with the biggest grin on his face. I found that James was rarely resistant towards care if I sat down and talked with him for a few moments before attempting anything. An avid reader, James enjoyed showing me what he was reading, and I would occasionally show him what I was reading. I would sometimes greet him with a ‘nee hau’ or begin by throwing his boot, which he hated, across the room to which he would applaud. He loved to tell me about his travels, about his family, and other such things. While his mind was ill, his soul was not. One day when I was struggling with my faith, James bore his testimony to me of the Book of Mormon and of the Restoration. James’ testimony is one of the most powerful spiritual experiences I have had in my life. James became a dear friend of mine.

The purpose in sharing this is to help encourage better understanding. James was treated as less than human because of his dementia. I discovered that James is a beautiful person who enriched my life greatly. People yearn to feel loved and respected. Treating people like GOMERs or GOMEREs (the feminine version of GOMER) is not acceptable. A lot of people have inherited a tough situation in life. I think one of our duties as human beings is to help each other out and encourage better understanding. Let’s think again about how we and others treat people like James.

Leia Mais…

Doctors’ Diaries

I received wonderful news this week. I will be attending the University of Rochester School of Medicine and Dentistry in August as a first-year medical student! As Melanie and I research activities and sights in New York, where we are going to live, how we are going to pay for tuition, and other logistical necessities, I continue to find my mind wandering and worrying about what lies up ahead. In an effort to demystify my future I decided to watch a PBS NOVA special called Doctors’ Diaries. This program follows seven doctors starting from their first day of medical school at Harvard. The program does a fantastic job at showing the different students’ personalities, and allows the viewer to get a glimpse of what it takes to become a doctor and what being a doctor entails.

Some aspects of the documentary are disturbing. As an intern, talking about the stressfulness of being a physician, one doctor says he’s “become this person that [he] doesn’t particularly like.” Another says “I’m gradually just getting more and more tired.” Several of the doctors go through a divorce or two (or three). A wife describes the time her husband is able to give her as a “shell” of the man she married. I also watched an intern connect with her patient before heart surgery and then, after six hours in the OR, pronounce that patient dead. These are some of the things I fear.

One doctor says, “In my years of practice now I’ve seen all the range of extreme tragedy, extreme joy. I can’t think of anything that’s grounded me so much in my life as being a doctor.”

There are also many uplifting aspects to the documentary. My favorite aspect is the film subjects’ interaction with patients and other doctors. These students and interns genuinely care for the people they are helping. One doctor develops a way to get eyeglasses distributed to rural areas of China. It is refreshing to see genuine care provided by all the physicians documented since this type of care is the reason many (including myself) go into medicine to begin with.

“You’re going to be okay. We’re going to take care of you and you’re going to be alright.” Being able to say (and mean) this is what satisfies one physician in the documentary. “I wouldn’t trade that for the world.”

Leia Mais…

Nepal Video

So I used Windows Live Movie Maker for the first time and made this:

Enjoy!

Leia Mais…

Nepal

View Full Album

I am now back in Bangkok (which feels like home… strange). For the past month I have been in Nepal spending time in the Himalayas. Here are some notes on my trip:

We arrived at Kathmandu airport on Tuesday, March 29. The airport was a worn-down dust box. Guards stood around holding automatic firearms, employees begged for money after helping lift baggage onto a cart, and the line for immigration seemed to drag as slowly as it possibly could. Not a good first impression. We arrived later that day at our hotel in Thamel (a tourist area inside Kathmandu).  The trip didn’t start out well. One easily gets a headache in Kathmandu from the incessant beeping of cars and motorbikes warning pedestrians of their whereabouts on the absurdly narrow roads. Dust seeps into every physical space possible, a nightmare for your lungs. By the second day I found myself clinging to a toilet, puking in the dark after unwisely eating a cold pizza from the local bakery. The symptoms of food poisoning lasted the next three days including a ten hour van ride across the winding road that leads to Pokhara. We stayed an extra day in Pokhara to allow my symptoms to subside before we started our trek.

The first day of the trek was fantastic. We left the dust, blaring horns, bad hygiene, and unsafe food in the city and replaced it with good exercise and gorgeous scenery. The trek was great for our physical well being--our party being in dire need of conditioning. The first day we walked for 8 hours and ascended about 1000 meters of steeps stairs. At the end of the day we were utterly exhausted. This was the first of many physically taxing days. We spend our nights in tea houses. The tea houses were great, they include a room with a light, food available for order (we got used to eating primarily potatoes and eggs), and even a hot shower. Far from roughing it, we enjoyed each others company, read, played cards, washed clothes, and made friends from all over the world. I feel closer to every one of my family members thanks to these wonderful places.

Eventually, after over a week of grueling effort, we made it to our destination: Annapurna Base Camp! I immediately found a cozy place to sit high above the moraine where I watched Annapurna 1 for over an hour. Here, I experienced relaxation beyond anything I had ever felt before. I sat listening to the ambient noise. Just in front of me I could hear the occasional sound of a rock tumbling down the cliff. High above me I watched the slow, hypnotic movement of avalanches thundering down the mountain. I was reminded of nature’s subtle power. Mel and I read a chapter of the Book of Mormon together. Sitting Indian-style on a patch of grass I watched birds playing in the strong winds rushing up the cliff. Their grace translated to my peace. To me, that spot is sacred ground.

We stayed a couple days at the top and then slowly descended back down to Pokhara, ending our two week trek. We then spend another week in Pokhara and Kathmandu where I found that if you don’t eat cold pizza you can find delicious food that is inexpensive. I now sit here in Bangkok feeling utterly refreshed. What a great get-away!

Leia Mais…

SCUBA

Even though I want my blog to be more focused, I will still have the occasional picture post of fun things Mel and I are doing. This is one of them :)

We spent the last week in Koh Tao (Turtle Island) in Southern Thailand. This is a remote backpacker’s island which offers the best value scuba diving in the world (or so I’m told). I took the PADI open-water diving course and am now certified! For anyone who hasn’t been diving yet the experience is thrilling. It is an amazing feeling to breath underwater, find a neutral buoyancy (a sensation unlike any other), and explore the intricate world hidden in the coral reefs.  Not only was the diving phenomenal, the island itself was a small paradise. It offered me some of the best food I’ve eaten in Thailand, great volleyball, a great little used bookstore, an oil massage, some pleasant reading spots, and a much needed getaway. Enjoy these pictures.

 

 

 Cheers!

  

 

 

 

Leia Mais…

Things I Am Thankful For:

It’s Christmas time, a time where we visit family and friends, give to others in various ways, and spread Christmas cheer (yeah, I just watched Elf :-). With the spirit  of Christmas resonating in my soul, I want to take a moment and express a few of the things I am most thankful for. These are in no particular order:

• My wife Melanie: Mel makes my life better in ways I could never have imagined before I met her. There was a line in “500 hundred days of Summer” which really struck a chord in me when one of the characters was asked whether or not his wife was the girl of his dreams. He said no, and added that he is glad she is not because there are so many things about his wife that he could never dream of and now cannot do without. That sums up Melanie for me. I have no idea how i got along without her and I am thrilled every time i discover more things about her. She makes life fun and I love her for that.

• Brigham Young University: Gordon B. Hinckley gave a talk once called “The Widow’s Mite.” In it he discusses how blessed we are as BYU students to study for such a low cost, and how he fears more than anything that we take this experience for granted. I am about to graduate from BYU with a phenomenal cache of resume points and experiences which will prepare me for medical school. I have been blessed to have a full-tuition scholarship and tons of grant money which have enabled Melanie and I not only to graduate debt free, but with a little bit of savings as well. What an awesome University; I definitely plan on giving back in some way a few years down the road.

• My family: I laugh to myself when I think about all the fights I used to get into with my parents in high school. The problem back then was that i didn’t communicate with them. I am grateful that this is no longer the case. I call my parents all the time now, confide with them about my problems and fears, and receive great advice. They are great in-laws for Melanie and will be great grandparents (when that time comes ;-). Devan has always been close to me and I consider him my best friend. Nothing like going to one of his comedy shows, watching a good Lakers game, or giving him a hard time about not being married. Emily is one of the sweetest people in the world, up there with Mel. I’m glad she is my only sister. Freeman and Gavin are growing up fast. They are both going to do great things in life, both in the Church and in the world. Family is awesome.

• Melanie’s family: I couldn’t ask for a better mother- or father-in-law. Peter is stored in the same compartment in my mind as Indiana Jones. He is constantly looking for adventure and tries to bring us along for the ride. I have been most impressed with his testimony of Christ’s gospel. Many little things about the way he acts stand as a witness to me that he knows Christ. Luckily, he instilled much of this into Mel’s personality as well. One word that describes Toni is compassionate. She seems to live her life in the constant service of others. When i met Mel something that stood out to me was her unconditional love for everyone. When I met Toni I discovered where Mel got that from. Both Mel’s mom and Dad are dear to me.

These are a few things I am grateful for. I encourage everyone to take some time and express gratitude for things in your life.

Leia Mais…

Your Inner Fish

So My birthday was yesterday, and my lovely wife knew just what to get me: a stack of books! I couldn't wait to start reading one of them called Your Inner Fish by Neil Shubin a paleontologist and professor of human anatomy at the University of Chicago's medical school.

I got through the preface and the first chapter before I went to bed and have loved it so far. In essence the purpose of the book is to describe structurally how we have evolved from fish. Dr. Shubin was one of the people who discovered a fossil representing an intermediate form between fish and land animals with limbs and necks. This fossil is called Tiktaalik and was unearthed in the Canadian arctic. What impressed me about the first chapter was that Dr. Shubin was able to predict where he would find this fossil based on how old the dig site was (approx. 375 million years old). That is great evidence supporting evolution. Scientists are able to predict where to find transitional fossils and sure enough, they go out and find them.

I'm sure this book will fill my head with many more insights worthy of blogging about so stay tuned :-)

Some other books Mel got me are:

The Language of God by Francis Collins (I read this one over the summer and am excited to read it again)
Finding Darwin's God by Kenneth Miller
Only a Theory by Kenneth Miller (his lecture really left an impression on Mel and I)
How Doctors Think by Jerome Groopman (I read half of this over the summer and am excited to finish it)

Cheers.

Leia Mais…

Graduation and Camping (Pictures)

Here are some pictures from graduation:

Mel's parents came from Bangkok, and mine from California

Right after convocation

In front of the BYU sign

After Graduation I spent 6 of the next 9 days in the wild! After reading Brave New World and feeling how crazy my life has been, it was therapeutic to relax with family in the woods:

Our hike up the backside of Timp

We went camping at Trial lake and saw a Golden eagle hunting for fish

Some random waterfall

Our hike from the Crystal Lake trailhead; this is at Long Lake

Letting Mel feel how cold my hands were

A shot of the Eagle flying home after its hunt; that bird was seriously one of the most awesome animal sightings I've seen in nature

Leia Mais…

Our New Dog

He's still in Thailand with Melanie's parents, but they'll either bring him to us when we graduate in August or we'll bring him back with us when we go to Thailand for Christmas.

Leia Mais…

Happy Easter

Melanie and I watched this together. I absolutely loved E. Holland's talk and this video complements his words nicely.


and we read this:

Link

Leia Mais…

A dog in the near future!

So I just found out that my parents-in-law are getting us a french bulldog! I am so stinking excited.

Leia Mais…

I Want A Dog

and one day some kids too :-)

Leia Mais…

Hike Up Mt. Timp

Mel, Myself, and some of our family hiked the backside of Mount Timpanogos last Saturday. It was a long hike but very fulfilling once we got to the top. Here's some pictures of that incredible experience. I suggest everyone here in Utah does this at least once.

We went on the most beautiful day possible.
I'm all about the bandana when hiking. Here we signed the book of life :-)
How beautiful God's creation
Is she eating a rock??

There's all ya'll WAY below us :-)
We really did have that much fun :-)

Proof of how long this hike was is all over Uncle Allan's back.

Leia Mais…

Thai Wedding Pictures!!!

Leia Mais…